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I used to have a list on my blog.
The things I will never do as a wedding planner
(it’s in Romanian and it’s published some years ago. If you’re very curious, head on to my page victoritaaxinescu.com and search for it)
… so I used to have a list with things that I wouldn’t be bothered with. Moving furniture, bussing tables and chairs, say to the DJ what song to play next..
Things that I thought were important to differentiate myself from, at the time. And they definitely were. Because every business has its stages and, well, there was a time when people got confused about what a wedding planner should do or be.
Now, because this sorts of confusions happen very rarely, I’d like to share a different list. It’s part of my core values and I would love to know if this resonates with you.
So, here we go. Read on further if you’d like to know what to expect when working with me as your wedding planner ?
1. I will not add to your plate.
I know you’re busy as anyone can get already and this is why you’re probably hiring me in the first place. You don’t need someone from your team to always make it harder on you, giving you the longest to do lists, impossible deadlines and an overall feeling of overwhelm.
I make sure to communicate ahead of time goals on the wedding process, so you don’t need to feel that your wedding planning becomes an extra job for you and your partner for the next year or so.
I am quite skilful at simplifying and I am always a straight shooter for the best, quickest and easiest solution.
I will send you a list of my favourite **all things wedding** vendors from the moment you sign the contract and in most cases I’ll try to match you with one or two maximum recommendations per service. You will not receive a 50 page long **didn’t read, no one cares** pdf with vendors you can find for yourself online.
I will draft up your budget as soon as we have some starting coordinates and you will get the bird’s eye view of the total, the categories and the per guest recommended options.
or maybe flowers.
I will search for the right match and maybe add some insight into the details, colours and overall esthetics, but I will not overwhelm you with complicated DIY projects or things we need to order from Italy, China or US.
You get the point by now, right?
2. I will not create more anxiety then there already is in the whole wedding industry.
If you are chill, I am also super chill, no matter how un-special, un-trendy and un-fabulous you want your wedding to be.
I am not in the market for building a portfolio, getting published or stacking rewards.
I am here to serve couples that want to take their wedding to a meaningful and authentical level, no matter what this means to them.
Mental health is a serious concern and a precious thing to care for, no matter if you’re planning a wedding or not. I’m trained in CBT psychotherapy and a fully licensed clinical psychologist, so I am always aware of the emotional charge and all the mental triggers your wedding planning has on you.
So I am not, in any way or capacity, here to perpetuate the chain of anxiety producing musts and donts of the wedding industry.
3. I will not commission any of the vendors that I work with.
This one is very straight forwards.
What you pay is what they receive in full. My work will never be tied to the 10% commission that is still a thing in the industry.
You will be the owner of every contract and I will always make sure you have a market price (aka you’re not sold at a different price because whatever reason).
I may not be the strongest negotiator, but I want all my clients treated with respect and equity.
4. I will not make you do things you don’t want to.
Like a first dance, a speech or a grand entrance.
If you don’t want a first look, don’t. I will advocate for your wants and needs with all the vendors, from venue to photographer or florist.
No bouquet? Well, it’s up to you. No cocktail hour, skipping straight to dinner? I’m on your side, for sure. I had weddings with no ceremony, weddings with no wedding dress and weddings with no bridesmaids.
Sure, it’s always easier to follow what’s already expected and tested by thousand and thousands of couples already. But I am a firm believer that you can get to a certain level of happiness only when you’re truly authentic…
And that’s where all the charm & character of a great wedding is hidden!
Want to elope the whole wedding and celebrate in a very intimate setting? Read here about our elopement service and why you should definitely consider it!
5. I will not bs you!
You need an accountability friend, not a teacher with higher moral grounds that tells you what’s right and what’s wrong. You surely don’t need someone to sugar-coat your pain points or make you think they have a special wand with which all problems go away. Just to realise, in the end, well, they didn’t. So you know..
My planning style is smooth and precise and I tend to leave it that way for most of my couples.
I will make sure you know what you’re paying for and I also explain in depth, when needed, why you should expect a different price than the one you already have in mind.
I will make it clear (but professional) when I have a different opinion or when my experience and my guts tell me you should listen to me (or very well trust your own instinct).
I’m not the I told you so type and when you insist on something I would definitely do different, I am all there to cheer you and give you all my support. But then again, just remember why you wanted to hire me in the first place.
This is it. What do you think of my never do list? If you want to know more about how you can work with us, head on to the contact page and leave us a message!
Photo cover for this image: Marius Chițu (2016 wedding).